8 months, 10 days.
I’ve got to get into the habit of writing blog posts more often. Those numbers are simply how long it’s been since my last post, and it had been more than nine months between posts before that. That’s simply not good enough.
In my last post, I talked about the diploma program I had started in April. Well, there’s 4 classes left before I start my practicum. Things are getting real, yo.
I have enjoyed my time in this program. I’ve gotten to meet some really wonderful people, who I hope will be friends for life, and I’ve learned a lot about a lot of things, but the one thing I’ve learned most about is myself.
1) I’m a terrible taskmaster.
If I don’t get my homework done in a timely manner, I beat myself up mentally until I finally do them. Not in a mean way, but more along the lines of, “Hey, you really need to stop procrastinating.”
“No, really. Get off your butt and get working.”
“Haven’t you done it yet?”
“You know you’re going to be up into the wee hours of the morning if you don’t do it soon.”
Until such time as my mind walks out on me in mutiny until I give in and pull out the books. It doesn’t usually take very long before I submit to the mental heckling, but that inner voice can sure get loud.
2) I’m smarter than I give myself credit for.
This isn’t exactly new news to anyone who knows me. I go into every test and quiz with the idea in the back of my head that I’m going to fail, but somehow, I never do. In fact, I’m still maintaining a decent overall mark on the honours spectrum. My classmates are apt to say, “Well, of course you did well, it’s you,” when they ask how I did on a test or assignment, but I still have that nagging feeling at all times that maybe, just maybe, this will be the time I don’t pass.
3) I can’t study.
I’ve tried. I read chapters from beginning to end the two days preceding a test, and absorb nothing. I highlight. I use flashcards. I quiz myself. None of it sinks in. I arrive at school an hour early, sit down and skim through notes and textbooks for an hour, and I pass the test with flying colours. I don’t understand it, but that’s how it works for me. I do NOT recommend this method for anybody!!
4) I am not the same person I was even as few as three years ago.
Things have changed so much for me in the past three years. I can’t imagine my life any different than it is right now, though. I’m in a good place emotionally and spiritually, and I’m on my way to a new career after being a stay-at-home-mom for 15+ years. I won’t lie: it’s terrifying some days. But those days are the ones I dig in and move forward with even more determination because FEAR has two meanings:
Forget Everything And Run
Face Everything And Recover
I choose to face things head-on and step over those stumbling blocks nimbly instead of letting them trip me up.
Aside from these things I’ve learned about myself, I’ve learned that, well, I’m not alone. There are others out there who “get” me. And that’s one of the best feelings in the world.